So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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