Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
