just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
