were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
