I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
