Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
