do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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