Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize