I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
