i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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