So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
