He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
