i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
