whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
