i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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