everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
