no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
