So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You're like the curious george of whores
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize