Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
