you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
