Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
