Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
