She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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