this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
