I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
