We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
