is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
