I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
