I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
