Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
