You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
