So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Randomize
