You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
