Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
