I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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