I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
