I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
