I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
