Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
