I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
