oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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