sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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