And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
We talked him into tasing himself.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
