How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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