I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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