things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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