He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
