Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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