He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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