I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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