If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
