i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
