I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
