I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
