Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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