you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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