Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
