I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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