We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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