im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
