Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
