I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize